Feeling Like Quitting Soccer? 5 Steps to Take Before You Decide

You used to love this game. Maybe you still do. But lately practice feels heavy, games feel scary and the joy has gone quiet. A thought keeps showing up: “Maybe I should quit.”

First, you are not weak, ungrateful or dramatic. Many athletes feel this way at some point. What matters is what you do with the feeling. This guide gives you five steps to take before you decide.

A quick note: this article is education and encouragement, not therapy. If what you feel is very heavy or lasts for weeks, talk to a parent, a school counselor or a mental health professional.

Step 1: Name what you feel

“I want to quit” is a big sentence that often hides a smaller one. Grab a notebook and finish this sentence five different ways: “I want to quit soccer because…”

You might write things like:

• I am exhausted.
• My coach makes me feel small.
• I feel alone on my team.
• I am scared of not being good enough.
• The pressure from outside is too loud.

Look at your five sentences. A pattern usually appears, and a pattern is something you can work on.

Step 2: Ask yourself, tired or done?

Tired sounds like: “I need a break.” “I am overwhelmed.” “I have no energy.” Tired is solved with rest, a lighter schedule and a better plan.

Done sounds like: “I do not miss it when I am away.” “I want to try other things.” That is a valid answer too. But please do not decide it on the worst day of the season.

A helpful question: if everything around soccer were easier (the coach, the schedule, the pressure), would I still want to play?

Step 3: Catch the thought

In a simple tool from cognitive behavioral approaches, we look at four parts: the situation, the thought, the feeling and the action.

• Situation: your coach subs you out in the first half.
• Thought: “I am the worst player on this team.”
• Feeling: embarrassed, angry, sad.
• Action: you sit at the end of the bench and stop trying.

Now check the thought with three questions:

1. What is the evidence for this thought?
2. What is the evidence against it?
3. What is a more accurate thought?

A more accurate thought might be: “I got subbed. I do not know why yet. I can ask my coach what to work on.” The goal is not to think positive. The goal is to think accurate. Catch it, check it, change it.

Step 4: Tell someone

Say it out loud to a person you trust: a parent, a coach, a teammate or a counselor. You can use simple words: “I am struggling and I want to tell you the truth.”

If you are a parent reading this, try to listen first. Do not fix right away. Ask, “What is the heaviest part?”

If the problem is a person, like a coach or a teammate, tell an adult you trust. You do not have to carry it alone.

Step 5: Run a two-week experiment

Before you quit, change one thing for two weeks.

1. Lower the load. Maybe one fewer extra session.
2. Change one thing you control. A new warm-up playlist, a drill you enjoy, training with a friend.
3. Write three lines every night. What went okay today? What did I enjoy, even for a minute? What do I need tomorrow?

After two weeks, read your notes. If the joy comes back, you found something that works. If it does not, you now have real information to decide with.

If you decide to stop or take a long break

That is your decision, and your family can support you. Make it calmly and talk with your parents. If you can, finish the season for your team. Remember that you are not only a soccer player. The discipline, resilience and teamwork you built will go with you everywhere.

Many girls discover that what they needed was not to quit. It was a different plan.

When to ask for professional help

Sometimes the heaviness is bigger than a soccer problem. Talk to a parent, a school counselor or a mental health professional if you notice:

• Sadness or worry that lasts for weeks.
• Losing interest in many things you used to enjoy, not only soccer.
• Changes in sleep, eating or energy that worry you or your family.
• Thoughts of hurting yourself. In that case, tell an adult right away. In the United States you can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time.

About Athletes of Life

Athletes of Life is a virtual soccer club for girls who want more from the game. It was founded by Ana Egeling, who came up through the Vasco da Gama academy in Brazil, played college soccer at Regis University on a full scholarship and played pro at Botafogo. Our free journal helps you write down your thoughts, and our live mentorship every Wednesday at 8 PM Eastern teaches mindset tools like the one in this article. If a bad game is the trigger, read how to get your confidence back. Minors join with parent authorization.

Your next step tonight

1. Finish the sentence “I want to quit because…” five times.
2. Circle the one that feels most true.
3. Write three things you still love about this game.
4. Tell one person how you feel.
5. Pick your two-week experiment.

Born to Shine 💎